The Students

I expected Taiwanese kids to be very well behaved, and to follow very strict manners. They don’t. They scream and argue, jump out of their seats to kick other students, and constantly interrupt me to ask for bathroom breaks. Sometimes they put their jackets on their heads, sometimes they pretend to sleep, and sometimes they do rank things like make spit bubbles. If there’s a mosquito or a fly in the room, it will be a few minutes until the lesson can continue. My “after class” students are seemingly normal Grade 1 and 2 students, so I sometimes have to remind myself that they have more stress and pressure in their lives than I do.

The day of an elementary-school student typically starts at 7:30 a.m. Classes start at 7:40 a.m. They wear uniforms and clean their own classrooms. Grade 1 and 2 students will finish at lunch time, and Grade 3-6 students won’t finish until 4 p.m. After school, most will go to a cram school. Many students go to more than one cram school. They may go to English classes and math classes on top of other activities like violin lessons or karate practice. Some have different backpacks filled with books for each school they attend. They don’t get to play very often, so they actually really love the spelling and writing games we play in class. They will seriously jump up and down and cheer while their teammate tries to spell “cereal” the quickest.

Punishment

At my school, we have a reward system based on cards. If you collect enough cards, than you can trade them for gifts like pencil cases and stickers. If a student is bad, we take some cards away. We can also yell (my coworkers sometimes yell in Chinese until they cry), assign more homework and talk to the parents. Parents will punish kids based on their performance at school. Some non-issues in North American classrooms are big deals in Taiwan. For example, if you lose a pencil, you just get new one, right? Not in Taiwan. I learned about this one day when I heard my coworker Shauna talking to a parent on the phone in her calm, professional voice for parents. When I asked her what it was all about, she said that one student said he traded pencils with a girl, but the girl said the boy took the pencil. Shauna had to call each parent twice about this, and talk to them in person. Now, both parents were coming to meet at the school. All because of one pencil! I asked Shauna why she was putting so much time into the issue, and she told me that when the girl came home that day without the pencil, her mother hit her. This mother is not considered a psycho either. I have another student who cries every time he does poorly on a test at public school because he will get hit. My Taiwanese co-teachers think this particular student is very weak for crying about it. It’s just a fact of life that poor test scores mean you will be punished. Even adults get smacked by their parents on occasion.

Exams

After Grade 6 comes junior high, which is basically three years of preparation for the national senior high school entrance exams. Students are assigned to senior high schools based on their test scores, not on the location of their homes. It's important to get into a good senior high. Then, at the end of senior high comes the national entrance exam for universities. Almost 67 per cent of those who write the exam go on to a post-secondary institution. Entrance into the best schools is obviously very competitive, especially for the most popular programs. Engineering degrees account for over 25 per cent of the bachelor degrees awarded in Taiwan. Leaving the country for school is also a very popular ambition. If a family has enough money, it is likely that the student will be trying to get into a university in the States. This means English proficiency exams. It is the hope of many parents in Taiwan that their kids will be able to leave the country. I can’t really elaborate on this, but I’ve been told that it’s just better to live outside Taiwan. I suppose it has something to do with the amount of brilliant engineers working as taxi drivers and garbage collectors in this country.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Sometimes, my students aren’t bad, and actually make me laugh.

• The other day, I started class and had begun reviewing some vocabulary. Nick interrupts me saying, “Teacher Amy! Teacher Amy!” This always happens. It’s usually about how someone else is doing something wrong. “What?” I said back. Nick had a very concerned expression on his face. He said, “Teacher Amy, I have a hamburger and some juice.” Yes, he looked very worried indeed.

• On my birthday, my co-teachers got together and made my after class students sing happy birthday to me. One student named Amy gave me a striped pencil with a pony eraser and said “Happy Birthday.” The next day, some students tried to say “Happy Birthday” again, but I told them it’s over. But Amy really likes me, so she gave me some crackers and a small chocolate ball and said “Happy Mother’s Day.”

• A few of my Grade 1 students have taken to saying “baby.” I will ask them something with flashcards like “What is it?” And they will say, “It is an eraser, baby!”

Election Day Photos

Soundtrack included! First shots are outside the presidential palace. A KMT rally was held nearby.

Video from Stinktown

Turn on your speakers.

Economic Depression

Did you know that Taiwan consistently has over 4,000 suicides per year? There is approximately one suicide every two hours in this country. The main reason is officially “unemployment.”

Taiwan’s economy has been comparatively slow over the past few years, and people have been losing their jobs to cheaper labour in China. In 2001, the unemployment rate broke five percent, and over 3,000 factories closed down. Although there are manufacturing jobs to be had, my coworkers inform me that once you are over 35, many employers will not want to hire you. Age discrimination is not legal, but it’s ok as long as it’s not the official reason.

People are desperate for an economic upgrade, which is why Taiwanese people vote for the KMT. My coworker Shauna said she is voting for the KMT after voting for the DPP in the last two elections. She says people want more economic ties with China, but without losing freedom. She thinks the DPP claim that the KMT will turn Taiwan into Tibet is ridiculous. The leader of the KMT also says that Taiwan can not be compared to Tibet, but that a likening to Hong Kong is closer to the truth.

Shauna is voting for the KMT because of the economy. She thought the DPP could bolster it, and even voted for them again so they could have four more years to get their policies working. But the news of suicides is really bringing her down. She said some people will even kill their children when they kill themselves.

Morbid Details
The two most common methods of suicide in Taiwan are hanging/suffocation, and poisonous gas. Jumping from heights is not a common way to go, but it is on an upward trend. In 1991, 41 people killed themselves by jumping from heights, but in 2005, 502 people did.

But some people never make it off the building. In June 2005, a woman was found dead on top of Taipei City Hall. She was in an “advanced state of decomposition,” meaning that she had been up there for about six months. It turns out that she was a vocal critic of President Chen Shui-bian, and a loyal KMT supporter. After the president was shot in 2004, she opposed him even more emphatically (many KMT supporters felt the shooting was a hoax to get sympathy votes). Apparently KMT-leaning news media reported the story as though she were a martyr. Her death protested the ruling party’s corruption, and the opposing party’s weakness, or so it was said. As far as I can tell, she didn’t leave a note indicating such. To see photos of her (alive), and where her body was found, check this out http://thechinadesk.wordpress.com/2006/06/06/chen-chin-chu-in-memoriam/. It becomes a little clearer as to how she could be unseen for six months.

I’m not sure how the status quo will be affected tomorrow. Both parties want more economic ties with China, but I’m not sure what kinds of strings China would attach to any new business negotiations. I am certain that China will have an effect on Taiwan soon. I don’t know if the KMT will make China welcome, or if the DPP will take a provocative stance and boycott the Olympics. Let’s just hope that the Taiwanese can live with what they choose.

Taiwan Does Democracy

The American election campaigns are out of control. One candidate says another is less qualified, and then the other candidate claims to have better judgment. Meanwhile, a third candidate alleges to be even better than the other two! This style of “negative campaigning” is ice cream compared to the shit being thrown in Taiwan, let me tell you.

Taiwan will have its fourth ever democratic elections on Saturday. The first election in 1996 featured Chinese missile tests in the Taiwan Strait, and the last election in 2004 was so negative that the current president and vice president were shot while campaigning the day before the vote.

The tension comes from some major party differences. The two main parties are the DPP (Democratic Progressive Party) and the KMT (Kuomintang). The DPP is currently in power, and has been pushing for Taiwan’s entry into the UN for years. Then there’s the KMT, which is a Chinese nationalist party that previously ruled Taiwan under martial law. The KMT agrees that Taiwan should join the UN, but under the name Republic of China. Some people think China won’t attack Taiwan if Taiwan elects the semi-loyal KMT, but most people think China won’t act anyway, unless Taiwan declares independence, or gets into the UN. By the way, coinciding with the election this year are two UN referendums on Taiwan’s request for membership – one as Taiwan, and one as Republic of China.

Just like in the United States, slanderous remarks may lead to resignations. A couple days ago, a DPP member resigned over his criticism of the KMT’s candidate’s father. The man admitted that his public criticism turned into a personal attack when he insinuated that Ma Ying-jeou’s father slept with prostitutes and even “screwed” his adopted daughter. He never said his statement was false, but he did resign.

The candidates have also called daughters drug addicts, and wives whores. No, Taiwanese politicians are not known for holding back punches (see Rick Mercer’s Best Taiwanese Parliament Fights of All Time for this reference).

The DPP’s presidential candidate, Frank Hsieh, is putting his candidacy on the line over his attacks on Ma. Only five days before the election, Hsieh said he would drop out of the presidential race if his rival could prove that he does not hold permanent residency in the United States. Ma admits he held permanent residency, but claims he gave it up in the early ‘90s, and never applied for a green card. The strangest thing is that instead of proving Hsieh wrong, and forcing him to resign as party leader, Ma is suing the DPP. The issue may not be resolved by election time, which is too bad. It’s kind of important to know if a man who wants closer ties with China can hide in the States if the shit hits the fan.

But this election is not all about drama and barroom style brawls. There are also overly corny moments. Candidates from all sides pose with big smiles, giving the thumbs up on their posters. I have also seen the old back-to-back pose, and the bent-arm handshake pose. These cheesy pictures are on buses, on buildings, and on flags that line the streets. Did I mention that they are often dressed “casually” in the pictures, maybe even in track suits? It gets lamer. On Sunday, the DPP organized a 1 million person high five to celebrate a supposed comeback. Rallies were held nationwide, and hundreds of thousands of people showed up wearing sideways baseball caps, ready to party. At the right moment, they all high fived each other. Oh god, my eyes can’t stop rolling!

As an outsider who has no idea what Taiwan really needs, I prefer the DPP. President Chen Shui-bian, and vice president Annette Lu, have histories of defending human rights in Taiwan. It was only 21 years ago that the KMT were plundering the island under martial law, so I just can’t like the KMT. However, the KMT will likely win, as they swept the legislative elections in January. Either way, Saturday is sure to be a gong show. I don’t know whether to take photos, or hide in a bomb shelter.

Another Wacky Day

This morning I woke up earlier than was usual for a Tuesday. The reasons were twofold: I had to go to work early for “office makeovers,” and I had to go to the bank. Would you like to know which event yielded a sexy result? Then settle in for a bizarre and convoluted tale.

It all began when I went to the bank to transfer $50,000 into my overseas account. It was my first time transferring money back to Canada, so I was a bit confused about the form I had to fill out. The clerk didn’t speak much English, so she called a man from upstairs to come down and translate for us. It was the same guy who helped me when I lost my bank card the first and second time. He seemed to remember me somehow. Anyway, he translated, and told me how much the transfer fees are, the currency rate, and the final amount in Canadian dollars, which, as it turns out, is nothing near 50 Gs.

He made small talk with me while the clerk was using her computer. He asked me if I would want to tutor some employees’ kids sometime. Doing private lessons is good money, so I said I could do it in my spare time. He took my phone number, and he made sure I had his cell. Then he said I could call if I need help at the bank, or if I want to party. I said “Party? Can you do that in Sinjhuang?” He misheard me and said, “Do I dance when I get drunk? Not really.” I thought this was very strange thing to hear from a professional looking bank employee. It’s not everyday you hear the word “drunk” during a legitimate business transaction.

After I left, I wondered if he was using the opportunity to speak English as an opportunity to hit on a client without his coworkers’ knowledge. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. The point is, I am awesome, and I wasn’t even wearing any makeup. I was saving my face for makeover day.

Makeover day was the brainchild of one of my school’s managers. She thinks our school would have an edge, and seem more professional, if the female staff all wore makeup “like a lawyer.” So, the school hired a lady from Shiseido cosmetics to do a training session. When my male supervisor first told me about the event, I found it very strange, and mildly offensive. Later, I realized that there might be free stuff, and hilarious photo opportunities, so I decided to hope for the best. I was actually getting curious about what my Taiwanese makeover would look like.

The cosmetics lady spoke in Chinese and waved a bunch of lotions and things around for two hours. My co-worker Shauna said she would translate for me, and even switched seats to do it, but she was too excited about all the products to tell me anything. At the end of the demonstration (15 minutes before it was time to don the bright red T-shirt and start making poop jokes, like lawyers), we could have free-range on all the sample goods. Everyone piled to the front of the classroom (yes, we were sitting in desks), and started trying all the stuff. Even if I knew what anything was, there’s no way I would go through the dogpile to get it. So, makeover day was a big waste of time, and I left without makeup. Just like my trip to the science museum, I expected something slightly amusing, and was shut out.

Goin' Nutz

Walking around the streets of Sinjhuang, it’s hard not to notice the red stains splattered on the pavement, and, looking up, the families of four riding on a single scooter with only two helmets are also rather conspicuous. But this is an unnecessarily morbid connection to make – the red stains are from betel nut. Relax.

Betel nut is a green juicy seed that people in many Asian countries chew, and subsequently get buzzed off of. In Taiwan, the seed is wrapped in a green leaf. You chew it all together, and spit out the blood-red juices that form. Then, after 15 minutes or so, you spit out your cud – a wad of fibers that looks like soggy coconut husk.

I have seen people at Buddhist parades chewing betel nut looking like they were in a trance, with crazed eyes and red juice dripping down their chin. I have also been on a bus where the driver was chewing it, singing to himself, and driving too fast. But the effect of betel nut is actually very mild, like a tiny cup of coffee or a cigarette.

The most obvious place to buy betel nut is from a betel nut girl. Betel nut girls sit in small glass rooms with a street front view. They wear tiny skirts, fishnets, high heels and silky tank tops. Cigarettes are on display, but they mostly sell betel nut. Apparently some clerks are not the clean cut businesswomen they appear to be, and sometimes sell certain favours too.

When my friend Narcoux came to visit me during Chinese New Year, we thought it would be darn nifty to try the stuff. We bought a bag of about eight nuts for around NT $50 from a little family-run cart at a night market. The (unsexy) woman gave us a cup with a paper towel in the bottom for us to spit in. She also got herself a betel nut to show us how to bite the end off first. Narcoux and I decided we didn’t want to be seen in public trying it, so we waited until we were home.

Wikipedia says betel nut has a “fresh, peppery taste.” I don’t disagree entirely, but it makes it sound like it tastes pleasant. Narcoux pronounced with disgust that, “It tastes like hot dogs.” I won’t disagree entirely with that either.

Our faces started to get hot and red right away, but in a good way. It’s supposed to make you feel mild euphoria, and have heightened alertness and be better able to work, but after chewing just one at nighttime, we didn’t feel very awake. In fact, my jaw was really tired from chewing the fibrous wad. It wasn’t the instant party we thought it could be, so we didn’t chew any more.

Betel nut is natural, but it’s not exactly a harmless stimulant. According to Wikipedia, it causes cancer (oral especially), gum deterioration, and is habit forming. It claimed that regular betel nut chewers in Taiwan are 28 times more likely to get oral cancer than non-chewers. So before you “do the chew,” think what it will do to you.