Monday, February 18, 2008

How's the Food?

“Engwen ma?” I say as I point to the menu.
“Yo,” says the employee as he searches through the stack of menus to find the English version.
Today I want fried rice, and I know this restaurant has it.
Speed reading through the oversized laminated menu for foreign dummies, I find chicken fried rice, shrimp fried rice, pork fried rice, and squid fried rice.
“Su de chaofan ma?” Vegetarian fried rice?
The employee doesn’t understand.
“Wo chi su,” I try again.
“No meat?” Another employee says in English.
“Yes! No meat!”
They point to the part of the menu that features shrimp, fish, and frog. I tell them that I don’t want any of it. They show me a plate of whole shrimp, and I tell them “bu yao,” or “don’t want.” A group of three or four people is now perplexed by my actions.
“Do you speak English?” someone asks.
They think I don’t understand the English menu because I don’t want meat. I see a pricey eggplant dish and go with it. After a few minutes my order arrives – with pork inside.
Being vegetarian in Taiwan is most often frustrating. If the restaurant doesn’t have an English menu, or pictures, you best just move on. However, there are some places where eating becomes as easy and natural as… eating. There are magical places in Taipei where you don’t have to order the only vegetarian dish on the menu, and you don’t have to try to negotiate meat out of the deal. These restaurants have dozens of 100 per cent vegetarian items, and many options for protein. To find such a haven of tranquility, just follow the swastika.

Swastika Food
Lonely Planet says the symbol on Taiwanese restaurants is actually a “backwards swastika,” but upon further research, I learned that there is no such thing as a backwards swastika. Buddhists use both the right-facing and left-facing swastikas in their scriptures, and Nazi’s also used both symbols since their flags were through and through. To be fair, Nazi’s more often used a right-facing swastika at a 45 degree angle, and Buddhists will more often use a left-facing one at no angle (flat across the top and bottom). Now you know.
On a restaurant, the symbol indicates that the food is safe for even the most hardcore of Buddhists. Unfortunately, this means there is no garlic, onion, shallot, leek, or chives in the food; these are the “Five Acrid and Strong Smelling Vegetables” that must be avoided. Wontons, fake seafood of all kinds, and various gluten-made meat alternatives in noodles, rice and soup make up the bulk of the selection. One day, I sat down to a huge bowl of rice noodle and fake seafood soup, which included fake squid, lobster, crab, and shrimp for only NT$65, or $2 CAD.
The definition of “vegetarian” in Taiwan is unbelievably varied. It ranges from not being able to eat potatoes or garlic, to being able to eat fish and pork.

Yo ro ma? Have meat?
Street food is a staple in Taiwanese cuisine, especially if it comes on a stick. Everything comes on a stick: whole squid, chicken skin, pork, fish dough, octopus tentacles, vegetables, tofu and rice. Fruit doesn’t come on a stick, but it comes in a bag and you eat it with an oversized toothpick. I like to get barbecued mushrooms, green peppers and tofu, but I also like to be conservatively adventurous. So, when I see something that looks meat-free, I point to it and ask “Yo ro ma?” I did this on one occasion when I saw a bar of black rice that was up for a grillin’. The vendor said it had no meat, so I went for it. The bar was alright. It was just gummy rice with no real taste other than the sauce and spices it was grilled with.
A couple weeks later, I was perusing the grocery store when I saw the same black rice. I had already eaten it twice. I looked closer to see if the secret ingredient, either seaweed or molasses, would be revealed. The English caption said “Rice in pig’s blood.” I could have fainted. But, maybe I’m immortal now.
I have been a vegetarian for about 10 years, and I have never heard of a pork eating, pig’s blood ingesting vegetarian. Luckily, grocery stores tend to be more reliable than street peddlers.

Wellcome
Wellcome is a popular 24-hour grocery chain that makes my life much easier. It has two vegetarian sections – one refrigerated and one frozen. That’s not to say that I can buy the staples I was used to buying in Canada. There aren’t any buns, tortillas, bagels, pickles, minute rice, cans of beans or perogies. Pasta sauce is very expensive when they have it, and cheese is also insanely expensive for just a small chunk. But I can get frozen dumplings and fried rice, and even fake shark-fin soup if I want it. Fake shrimp and various styles of fake chicken are pretty cheap and actually taste really good. While eating out is very inexpensive, in this particular neighbourhood, it is just not worth the frustration.
So, to answer the burning question, “How’s the food?” my official answer is “Alright, I guess.”

2 comments:

momycat said...

i love your write-ups a'lo!

A-Lo said...

ahh shucks!