Goin' Nutz

Walking around the streets of Sinjhuang, it’s hard not to notice the red stains splattered on the pavement, and, looking up, the families of four riding on a single scooter with only two helmets are also rather conspicuous. But this is an unnecessarily morbid connection to make – the red stains are from betel nut. Relax.

Betel nut is a green juicy seed that people in many Asian countries chew, and subsequently get buzzed off of. In Taiwan, the seed is wrapped in a green leaf. You chew it all together, and spit out the blood-red juices that form. Then, after 15 minutes or so, you spit out your cud – a wad of fibers that looks like soggy coconut husk.

I have seen people at Buddhist parades chewing betel nut looking like they were in a trance, with crazed eyes and red juice dripping down their chin. I have also been on a bus where the driver was chewing it, singing to himself, and driving too fast. But the effect of betel nut is actually very mild, like a tiny cup of coffee or a cigarette.

The most obvious place to buy betel nut is from a betel nut girl. Betel nut girls sit in small glass rooms with a street front view. They wear tiny skirts, fishnets, high heels and silky tank tops. Cigarettes are on display, but they mostly sell betel nut. Apparently some clerks are not the clean cut businesswomen they appear to be, and sometimes sell certain favours too.

When my friend Narcoux came to visit me during Chinese New Year, we thought it would be darn nifty to try the stuff. We bought a bag of about eight nuts for around NT $50 from a little family-run cart at a night market. The (unsexy) woman gave us a cup with a paper towel in the bottom for us to spit in. She also got herself a betel nut to show us how to bite the end off first. Narcoux and I decided we didn’t want to be seen in public trying it, so we waited until we were home.

Wikipedia says betel nut has a “fresh, peppery taste.” I don’t disagree entirely, but it makes it sound like it tastes pleasant. Narcoux pronounced with disgust that, “It tastes like hot dogs.” I won’t disagree entirely with that either.

Our faces started to get hot and red right away, but in a good way. It’s supposed to make you feel mild euphoria, and have heightened alertness and be better able to work, but after chewing just one at nighttime, we didn’t feel very awake. In fact, my jaw was really tired from chewing the fibrous wad. It wasn’t the instant party we thought it could be, so we didn’t chew any more.

Betel nut is natural, but it’s not exactly a harmless stimulant. According to Wikipedia, it causes cancer (oral especially), gum deterioration, and is habit forming. It claimed that regular betel nut chewers in Taiwan are 28 times more likely to get oral cancer than non-chewers. So before you “do the chew,” think what it will do to you.